urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl melisska!♡ melisska!♡ 2009-05-06T09:03:58Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:195965 2009-05-06T09:03:58Z 2009-05-06T09:03:58Z im up way past my bedtime. i have a stupid sleep schedule now. i dont get to bed till like 3 sometimes and then im ultra tired in the morning. like tomorrow - i will NOT allow myself to sleep in. instead i will get up on time, get a tim hortons, and wake myself up. <br /><br />i get to see hot chiropractor tomorrow. he makes my life better...fixes my pain and is nice on the eyes.<br /><br />i hate school.<br /><br />ive been going through phases of being restless. i wonder how im gonna get out of it. <br /><br />maybe ill read a book.<br /><br />i love roller derby. it has changed my life.<br /><br />i need a car. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:195654 2009-01-21T06:51:41Z 2009-01-21T06:51:41Z my friends list has been seeing a revival of sorts. more than 1 post per two weeks. way to go, people!<br />following in the footsteps of those who want to see lj live on, im writing for the first time in 36 weeks. approximately the same amount of time it takes to have a baby. shudder...<br /><br />im thinking of changing my major, which historically, ive seen as a massive, life changing event. i dunno...just from what ive seen on the old tube, people present this idea to others and the result is a unanimous *GASSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPP*!!!!!!!!!<br />whatever man. i have come to the conclusion that, short of travelling and spending extensive amounts of time in a francophone community, i will not learn french in a university setting, and therefore it shouldnt be my major. i dread going to class. i fucking hate the condescension of my prof, and the fact that there are perfectly fluent students sitting in class making everyone look bad. i get severe anxiety even having to speak aloud in class and construct sentences without first dissecting subject/verb agreements, tense problems and proper gender/article agreements. <br /><br />so, my options include: studying a semester abroad, which is enticing, changing my major, or deciding all over again that i hate school and not go back.<br />option number three isnt really an option. after the amount of SHIT i went through fixing my previous mistakes i will never allow myself to drop out again. 4 years in the making this is, being in a program.<br /><br />im thinking of entering into a combined program BEd Master of Teacher/BA Communications and Culture major in Canadian Studies/Minor in French. <br /><br />i just dont know. i just dont know!!<br /><br />i can foresee myself writing papers on Canada and i love Canadian studies...and with the combined degree i can teach either secondary or elementary and id love to teach elementary.<br /><br />and a minor in french is enough to be able to teach it.<br /><br /><br />SDfhskdjghadihgiofhoweiru0938!!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:195339 2008-05-23T19:38:41Z 2008-05-23T19:38:41Z one year ago tomorrow i wrote in here talking about going to sasquatch that weekend.<br />well today im writing about going to utah tomorrow to see mike ness...mmmmmmmmmm....<br />his songs make my heart melt. not to mention he is easy on the eyes!<br /><br />i hope i don't kill the people im going with. alison has a tendency to be tough to handle. james im excited to go with though<br /><br />1400 kilometres is a long drive inside a car urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:195190 2007-05-25T04:22:17Z 2007-05-25T04:22:17Z this weekend im going to sasquatch festival. it all came together last minute. im so pumped. its me, hannah, and my wife, alison. driving through alberta, bc, idaho and washington! i plan on stopping at roadside diners. fuck yes. what a way to kick off the summer. beastie boys, neko case, mirah, bjork, interpol, arcade fire, manu chao, michael franti and spearhead, bad brains, blackalicious! jesus fuck! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:194860 2007-04-18T04:14:43Z 2007-04-18T04:14:43Z lets go calgary flames. just fucking win a game, k? just give us a glimmer of hope. k thanks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:194814 2007-04-01T04:30:49Z 2007-04-01T04:30:49Z been wanting to see great lake swimmers for 1.5 years now, missed them at folk fest last year, and they played last night at liberty. they wouldn't sell out at a mid sized venue, right? wrong. showed up with matt and allison to a sold out sign. wtf! so we went to a bar named sue, and i just realized thats where my fridays have ended up for the last 3 fridays in a row. and beyond that, i realized ive been going out on fridays for the last couple of months, much to the detriment of my saturday morning at work. didn't get home til 4 last night, worked at 7. needless to say i wasna't functioning to par, i underbaked my muffins, and then called it quits at 11:45. i have the sysco business review on tuesday, which means they guide us by the hands through the sysco warehouse, ask us our opinions on ordering, inventory, suggested improvements, etc, and then butter us up with lunch on them at an upscale casual joint. sounds like a good day to me. after that i have class and then a soci paper due on wednesday, one more day of work, then heading to thunder bay for the weekend. well, thunder bay AND duluth. what the hell could be better? i'm writing this in one big paragraph, and yes i realize theres a lack of a cohesive theme. perhaps the content could fit under the umbrella of a: home on a saturday night because of lack of energy, fucked up living situation, alone and loving it, post-hangover evening, pre-sleeping marathon...entry. i've been really loving making friends lately. i dyed my hair last night. and on that inconsequential note, i'm done with the first lj entry in ages. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:194459 2006-11-30T21:51:04Z 2006-11-30T21:51:04Z what a miserable fall. its been minus 40 with the windchill for the last week or so. even in fahrenheit it sounds impressive at -40 as well! its just really gross out and i hate going outside. i called in sick today because im getting a bad cold, and i want to beat it. i could have went in to work i guess, but id rather get better than get run down, because i have class tonight. it would have been a long day. i have to finish my gingerbread house which is all constructed and just needs to be decorated (the fun part), and we got the approval to use the petty cash to go get a christmas tree for the restaurant. <br /><br />so i had weird dreams last night about being on a modelling show, living with katie and vanessa from my work, living in a hotel, getting stuck in mud, and taking a via rail train to toronto when we were living in winnnipeg, although the strange thing is, there were different kinds of sleepers that looked like huts with fireplaces in them, and you could upgrade to ones with little escape hatches and actual electricity for $7/night. the electricity package was called " the california collection" i dont know why. and then i realized that we should have bought groceries, so we stopped at safeway with vanessa and derek. i was soo excited. and they got a sleeper car that was shaped as a sasquatch, but our rooms were attached with a trap door.<br /><br />i have the most vivid, weird dreams. and the thing is, i have them EVERY night, and i usually remember them. and if i dont completely remember them, i get flashbacks of weirdness, which is why i know they were fucked up. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:194213 2006-11-18T02:03:49Z 2006-11-18T02:03:49Z james is going to thunder bay this weekend for calen's funeral. mostly to give support to robbie, who he hasnt been able to spend time with. such horrible circumstances, but he needs his support. im really glad brian was able to come through in helping him get there, otherwise the plane ticket would have been outrageous. its so awful.<br /><br />on a lighter note, i got a bottle of beaujolais nouveau today and plan on celebrating the harvest of the fall grapes in a fantastic way: sitting down with a glass and immersing myself in what not to wear. followed by take home chef. topped off with the great gatsby. <br /><br />i also got flames tickets for next week. my first ever game! im pretty excited. flames vs avalanche. fuck yeah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:193824 2006-11-16T05:11:32Z 2006-11-18T02:04:57Z i have this awful foreboding feeling right now. everytime i think about it, my shoulders tense up and i sort of stop breathing. its just the feeling of people you know being in so much pain. a death of anyone is horrific, but when its someone you know, even if you dont know them too well, if its someone young, if everyone you know knows them, if it somehow, in some form is in relation to you, its too hard to describe. its probably because ive never had to deal with death. i know its impending in the next few years at most with my great grandmother, but something so awful happening to someone so young. i used to have such a crush on him. james knows him, his brothers, and is best friends with his stepbrother. its awful. it makes me wish i believed in god so i would have someone to pray to, but it would make me hate him for letting someone be taken away from their loved ones. its a fact of life im going to have to accept, but it doesnt make it any easier to deal with. im going to be a complete and utter wreck when it finally does happen to someone close to me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:193740 2006-11-05T19:09:49Z 2006-11-05T19:09:49Z christmas is coming. yeah its disgusting. i love christmas, however, and am going to edmonton in a few weeks to go shopping. considering my sister is obsessed with hollister, ill get her gifts done in one fell swoop.<br />the day after halloween i was blown away by how many advertisments on the radio blatantly come out with christmas jingles. oh, and the bay was decorated the beginning of october. i think in ten years, at the rate this is going, we will be celebrating christmas in july as a non-ironic tradition.<br /><br />i got my ticket to go to tbay in december. it was nice; i actually have some money this year to spend on shit without being in overdraft. i counted up my tip jar that i casually add money to and i have $1000 without even realizing it. not even counting the outrageous amount i spend on crap every week. oh, costa blanca, why must you tempt me with your new themed clothing every week? i love their leopard theme, the brown and pink, the dark blues, the sailor colours. mmmm. sometimes im disgusted with myself but i am a product of my generation.<br /><br />for the first time the other day, and subsequently twice more since then, i have heard of our (and younger) generation being referred to as generation IM. how apt.<br /><br />i also realized how much having a cell phone again blows. i already want to get rid of it. <br /><br />this girl amanda, who i love and used to work in the restaurant, has come back to serve and shes working a few days a week in the bakeshop with me. it makes my mornings. we listen to architecture in helsinki and dance and drink chai. la dolce vita.<br /><br />i can't even explain how much i love sunday mornings. just the whole feeling of it. my house feels different on a sunday as opposed to even a monday. im off both those days but the house feels warmer, more susceptible to lounging, more relaxed on a sunday. monday it feels boring and cold. <br /><br />i think i should go to palomino for the sunday cowboy brunch and bloody mary bar. yes! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:193144 2006-08-30T21:14:03Z 2006-08-30T21:14:03Z okkervil river - this house is not a home the pain has subsided. FINALLY. im pretty sure i had the flu or food poisoning. i had chills, a fever, and my skin felt raw to touch it. not to mention severe nausea and stomachaches. i dont know why im going into detail, but it was one of the worst sicknesses ever. <br />i came home from work at 8:30a yesterday, slept til like 1:30, watched tv til about 5, slept off and on til 8:30, watched some tv, went back to bed at 11 til 1pm today. im refreshed, no doubt.<br /><br />i feel like such a dick for not being at work. i know i am sick, and i have a legitimate reason to not be there, but i feel so bad knowing that they are so short-staffed, and there is no one else to do desserts, unless ryan came into work. jesus. <br /><br />i was going to cancel my trip to thunder bay if i didnt feel better, and now i feel like i should cancel it just so i can be at work since i havent been there. i know thats a stupid thought. im leaving tomorrow on the redeye flight at 12:00 something, flying into toronto for a few hours, then back to thunder bay. i will never understand these damn flight routings. same with on the way back. we're flying standby tomorrow, so hopefully everything goes as planned. <br /><br />im also getting my hair did tomorrow at aveda. back to red! ive been waiting months for this! im going the smart route and getting it done professionally. partly because i want them to straighten it like they did a few weeks ago, so it will feel like silk. <br /><br />i keep forgetting that i start school next week. i need to get some school supplies! i didnt think i would be saying that so soon. <br /><br />i also need to go to mac for my mom. ill go tomorrow i think. she wants like 10 things. i told her it will cost her a lot of money and she nonchalantly responds with, "i know."<br /><br />i have turned her on to the beauty that is high end cosmetics. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:193011 2006-08-29T20:24:55Z 2006-08-29T20:24:55Z what is wrong with my body lately?????? today i couldnt even stay at work for two hours before i came home with nausea, stomachache etc. and NO it is not morning sickness. i laid in bed all morning but i couldnt sleep it off, so i came and sat on the couch, james brought me some pepto bismol and ginger ale, and now sitting up in a chair sort of alleviates this awful feeling. <br />this better go away before i go to thunder bay, or ELSE.<br />i also had really strange dreams about the winnipeg people from work walking around with black capes. <br />this suckssssssss. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:192723 2006-08-25T19:04:36Z 2006-08-25T19:04:36Z johnny cash this is the first time ive written in a long time. im at home today. i went out last nite for a birthday party, and i drank two pints and 2-3 shots more than i had originally planned. there was a scuzzy pond/lake that vanessa and i wanted to swim in, but i wasnt so sure. actually i was pretty gung ho about it last nite. i came home with my legs and feet pretty much soaked. <br /><br />i really need to do a late night swim somewhere, sometime before summer is over. i dont even care if its in the bow river?? actually, the current is pretty strong there and its glacier fed so it might be a bit chilly, esp. at 3am! i got home around three last nite, and i had every intention of going to work this morning, until i woke up at 8:30 when i should have been out the door at 6. "i dont like it but i guess things happen that way...buh do buh do"<br /><br />im still sort of passively searching for a new job. every time ihave a bad day i tell myself i need a new job asap. ive been at this point in previous jobs, and its not a good point to be at. its the "im pretty fed up and unhappy, but not enough to do something about it" plateau. some days i want to walk out, but then i couldnt fuck over my boss like that. we have the best working relationship in the world. if/when he decides to get a new job, he's taking me with him. <br /><br />work is such a bad environment right now. we have about 4 servers. this guy ryan from winnipeg is baking, and he's good so that lessens the blow of nicole leaving. ive been thinking about winnipeg lately. i dont think i hate it as much as i let on. its definitely lacking in reputation, but it has its charms. i will perhaps give winnipeg another chance one day, sometime. james got a truck so we're planning on driving home at some point. i dont know if i can handle another cross-country drive. i dont mix well with long distance driving. <br /><br />i also think i need to go to sikome beach again before the end of summer. vanessa and i have renamed it dream beach. and every time we tell someone about it we get the "ew" face followed by "why the hell would you want to swim there?!" its no wonder we have never heard about this beach that apparantly is notorious for its capture of dead animals. yeah thats really gross when i think about it but i dont care. dream beach is ours for life!<br /><br />i start school in a week and a half. im taking psychology and english at mount royal college. theyre u of c transfers courses, so im pretty excited about it. im taking a religion class and a sociology class next semester too. <br />im having my requisite early 20's crisis again, but im taking it a little less seriously right now. however, i am considering upgrading my maths again so i can open some more educational doors. it seems once a year i am swallowed by calgary surrounding wealth, and i am spit back out both a determined and depressed individual. im actually just coming out of this feeling, with a little more optimism than last time. <br /><br />im also going to thunder bay next friday for the weekend. its so expensive. but i should really see my family, and i am excited for it, and james and i are going to a wedding. i bought a beautiful dress and shoes and i cannot wait to wear them. <br /><br />i have a general feeling of foreboding right now. i feel sort of anxious. i also have a blinding headache. i need another afternoon of vanessa messages...ha! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:192393 2006-08-10T03:44:10Z 2006-08-10T03:44:10Z thunder, lightning and rain...please happen every night. it gives me an extra little thrill. <br /><br />also, listening to music i loved soo soo much and have neglected makes me feel sensational.<br /><br />i registered for english and psych u of c classes and i feel so good about it. i am really and truly excited to start school. <br /><br />its the end of an era - i watched the very last episode of six feet under and sobbed like a baby. <br /><br />i think i should get off the computer before it blows up from lightning. <br /><br />yeah? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:192044 2006-07-25T00:36:13Z 2006-07-25T00:36:13Z sometimes i just get so fucking LAZY that the thought of going to the movie store so i can sit down and have a lazy night seems like way too much effort. <br /><br />james is getting tattooed again... dean is working on a sleeve for him. i think theyre doing some outlining today.<br /><br />i think i need a jugo juice fund, because its all i ever want. a few weeks ago pepita gave nicole and i gift certificates from there for making her a cake (the one with the fucking kazahkstan flag) and they were gone in two days. ultimate meal in a glass. i had the watermelon wiggle at the kensington sun and salsa festival and it was oh-so-refreshing.<br /><br />sometimes i think about becoming vegetarian again, but outright declaring that eliminates so much choice from my life. i am an ardent supporter of choice. so i think i will keep that in my back pocket, make good non-animal food decisions, and know that i still have choice when i want to reach for some smoked turkey. <br /><br />if theres one thing i hate in this world, its sketchy people. i dont like when people lie, fuck others over, break plans, or be evasive. its pretty much the worst. <br /><br />i really would like to see john tucker must die. <br /><br />what is it about soft white bread that just appeals to the most primal part of our palates? as much as i enjoy eating whole grain bread, soft kaisers or plain white bread is just so comforting sometimes.<br /><br />this is fairly random. <br /><br />"fucking where is it?"<br />-margaret cho urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:191757 2006-07-19T04:39:43Z 2006-07-19T04:39:43Z sam roberts - uprising down under after dealing with and accepting my situation over the last 8 hours, i am finally ready to say that i was not accepted to u of c and i must find other ways to go to school!! i must say i was anticipating that decision, but a tiny part of me was hopeful that id get in. so now i have to take unclassifed studies at mount royal college.<br />yarg.<br /><br />i think school should have a sufficient punishment clause that allows them to accept you if you have paid enough emotional time. ive been dwelling and beating myself up over this for the past year. i think ive had enough. <br /><br />and fucking, i dont know what i even want to do with my life. <br /><br />fuck.<br /><br />also, i dont understand how people can have kids, or want to have them. thats another thing that i think about that makes me feel abnormal. i dont have the desire to bear a child. especially the labour and actual birth part. why would people want to put themselves through that?<br /><br />i think im just very selfish and in love with only having to care for myself. <br /><br />tonight is not a good night. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:191633 2006-07-16T18:58:55Z 2006-07-16T18:58:55Z i am fucking going rafting in a few minutes. we rented a 10-person raft from u of c, and it was like $150 for the day, thats how big it is. theres about 8 of us going. its massive. like, size of a big living room massive. as soon as nick here we are going.<br /><br />fucking summer!!!!!!!!<br /><br />vanessa, marie and i had a slumber party last nite that consisted of watching episodes of blind sex dates. nothing like some girls critiquing porn on a saturday nite. and went to denny's for dessert. i think thats gonna be tradition.<br /><br />it better get hot out today. apparently thunder bay is like 35 degrees. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:191328 2006-07-14T02:08:07Z 2006-07-14T02:08:07Z !!! - Pardon My Freedom i have a fucking licence!!<br /><br />its the first time ive been licenced in two years almost exactly, and the first time i won't feel like an outlaw for driving. not that i'll be driving til i go home. <br /><br />thats all. its a pretty fantastic feeling. i finally got my letter of confirmation from Ontario faxed to me last week, after sending a formal letter to them a month ago. so after all this paperwork, i finally got it. AAANNNNDDDD the guy licenced me at Class 5, which is equivalent to Ontario's G licence. which means that even though in ontario i would have to take one more road test, i sort of fell through a loophole and i don't ever have to do another road test in my life.<br /><br />it seems pretty insignificant, but its a huge deal to me. i feel normal. i feel complete.<br /><br />haha. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:191230 2006-07-09T20:38:06Z 2006-07-09T20:38:06Z going to stampede today...gonna eat dippin dots and mini donuts, and probably wait in line for hours to go on a ride, and then see sam roberts along with thousands of other people crammed in front of the stage. but i do love it. <br /><br />i hate what skanks women turn into during stampede though. i think the "look" of stampede this year is definitely cut off jean skirts, white tank tops, cowboy boots and cowboy hats, usually accompanied by fake boobs and asscheeks. and drunken vulnerability.<br /><br />i am looking forward to hitting up some free stampede breakfasts this year. a person could go an entire 10 days without paying for food if they went to all the different free breakfasts, lunches and dinners the businesses put on.<br /><br />blah blah blah pointless. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:190842 2006-06-30T19:09:39Z 2006-06-30T19:09:39Z woke up at 4:30 am this morning to take my mom to the airport. i am ever happy this week is over with. yeah i love my mom, but fuck....i can't handle her for a week straight. i cant exactly leave and do my own thing. <br />we did go get manicures and pedicures yesterday. my nails look nice. i could totally get used to getting them done once in a while, except for the fact that im a baker. rolling bread with nail polish isnt the best idea.<br /><br />i got some sweet mail today that wasn't bills. i got some cds in the mail, and i felt like it was christmas. the only things ive gotten in the mail lately are bills, bills telling me i owe enmax $500, and letters from mount royal college telling me i dont have a high enough post secondary average to get into the university transfer program, and to perhaps find another program. fuck them. of course i dont have a high enough average, i never went to class.<br /><br />school has been the subject of a real foul mood out of me lately. if i dont get into school this year, i will hate myself. and its looking that way. ill apply to something else at mt. royal, since i dont need more transcripts. its been such a cause of stress lately. especially with getting my mom to pick up my transcripts, bring them here, and rushing around to get them to u of c and mt royal. the school wouldnt directly send them, and thats what theyre supposed to do. <br /><br />wefrkfaskdfhakldjgalkdgjal;kfg!<br /><br />anyway, i found out yesterday that peaches is coming here in august so im pretty fucking stoked about that. <br /><br />thats all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:190635 2006-06-22T22:46:21Z 2006-06-22T22:46:21Z M.I.A makes for good cleaning music. cleaning before your mother gets in town. <br />i dont feel like next week is going to be a vacation. i wish my mom was into laying on the couch and watching tv all day, because thats all i wanna do next week.<br /><br />nothing is new or interesting in my life. i thought that if i wrote, something would come to mind, but nope.<br /><br />oh, i had a personal trainer yesterday. i'm sore.<br /><br />i'm sorry. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:190339 2006-06-22T00:51:12Z 2006-06-22T00:51:12Z elliott - the calvary song i hate calgary weather. i was going to cut the lawn since it was nice and sunny out. within a half hour, the skies turned back, it got cold, and it sounds like our house is being shot with a pellet gun. its hailing soooo bad out. i feel bad for people who own vehicles. <br /><br />but, there's nothing better than watching a fullout storm from your covered porch. i love when it gets deafeningly loud, and you're sitting there, warpped in a blanket, shielded from the mayhem.<br /><br />unless the tree gets struck by lightning and falls on me?<br /><br />omg this is insane! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:190104 2006-06-20T22:47:02Z 2006-06-20T22:47:02Z fiona apple - slow like honey nothing like spilling a litre of sweet sweet vanilla bean cream on the floor two minutes before you were gonna leave work.<br /><br />then, having ridiculous drivers almost kill you.<br /><br />then, being told you can't do laundry because the water is being turned off.<br /><br />thank god a slice of death by chocolate cake can remedy that.<br /><br />i think im gonna go spy on josh hartnett tonite. he's filming a movie pretty much next door (!) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:189785 2006-06-20T04:29:38Z 2006-06-20T04:29:38Z ladytron- seventeen sleepovers with vanessa are fun, especially the joyriding part. <br />diner deluxe has amazing food, and shitty service. <br />edmonton lost tonite but i dont feel so bad because now we both lost. <br />i realize i could get a job anywhere else for more money and thats pretty depressing.<br />im gonna go camping canada day.<br />im boring. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:getupgirl:189544 2006-06-14T23:56:06Z 2006-06-14T23:56:06Z my morning jacket - i needed it most i feel compelled to write a list of my pet peeves, because lately, these things have been happening increasingly.<br /><br />- cracking knuckles<br />- long fingernails on men<br />- dirty fingernails<br />- humming on the bus<br />- whistling<br />- too much cologne/perfume<br />- touching paper towel with pruny hands<br />- texture of cornstarch<br />- bok choy<br />- tipping a glass while someone's drinking from it<br />- shih tzus<br /><br />i hate all above mentioned things.<br /><br />i stopped procrastinating today and got my high school transcript. now i need my lakehead university one. <br /><br />i feel good about it.<br /><br />i also found out i am allergic to soymilk.<br /><br />ITS THE WORST!